As we all well know the O's are coming so here is a set of compilations on a guide to pass your O's( This blog cannot account for 100% succession or anything of such please consult a doctor before usage of these rules
1. Please use proper English britain people must be sick of your fucked up essay filled with words of misery and shrouded in bullshit so please any lah,hahaz,leh,loh and other lxh words are forbidden
2. Learn the facts right the reason all SS teachers smoke ( realise the trend?) is because of the stress of having to wake up and mark shitty papers produces by a cohert of students who belive intelligence sprouts out from your ass. After all only 4% passes and yes I'm not one of them so stop fucking me upside down and shove a pecil down your temple.
3. English learnt from Taxi drivers pornos are only 50% worth listening to like that tennis commercial, the philsophy of life of a half hearted car driver is not going to score you a A1 instead it'll probably give your marker cataracts and mad cow disease.
4. Barely grasping notes at 3.am isn't going to change the fact that you suck if you're going to study start early, like Mr Lee says start studying at 8a.m because that's probably the time you are going to take the exam.
5. If you laugh at jokes like how sperms look like peanut butter give up because your probably going to fail anyway due to your colour blindness in geography.
6.Short forms such as Pro is not a word "pro" used to be a short form for prostitude until editors and teams of idiots reinforced the society to belive it was professional.(Fucking addict)
7.Writing essays about transformers will give you a F9 because it's lame, boring and Honey is worst transformer ever including the fact that the enemy rocks and that Optimus prime has less balls than a see-saw.
8. Pasting 5 british pounds to your essay will probably give you a D7 and an F9 for two reasons one you did not write an essay and two cash notes have less words than a poem.
9.Writing a lot does not mean it's good you could write 4000 words but a person who glued an M&M to his paper might get more marks. ( My throat is partched due to these melancholic fucks)
10. Drinking beer will not boost your grades it will just make you fall face first into a patch of lalangs in your garden at 2 am in the morning that doesn't go for energy drinks though.
11. Force your parents to accept the fact that your privacy is needed to study for test. Unlike mine they just come barging in like they had to puke shards of their pelvis out after eating duck rice in front of me .Please the only reason for this is because I slept with them till I was 14 and drank from a baby bottle till I was 8 ( so fuck off) I was tortured by my sisters 24-7.
12. Saying that being possesd by poltergeist will help in the exam is utter bullshit so don't think ghost will save you.
13. Retard epidemics due to euphoria blast of ephermerical rainbows will fail If you still think that you are living on the silver lining or spoon or whatever shit that you live in th pot of gold is not at the end of the rainbow. Welcome to reality that's a cold hard fact.
14. Playing monopoly or screwing your iPod alone is really sad stop it and start studying. Using descriptive words would help like if I were to describe Xing Xuan in words it would be ......Xing Xuan (well fuck it she's not interesting enough.)
15.If Evanescene sounds like Effeverscene to you or fuck you becomes far kill I have nothing to say but say goodbye to your oral.
16. If you have less words to use than a license plate or listen to Fall-Out boy 24-7 shove a dictionary up your asshole and start reading. If you are fixated on depressing yourself just rot away.
17. Lastly , sending chain letters will really piss the marker off instead of scaring him/her if you want to get royally fucked in the ass with a pencil sharpener try it.
Ps: Couldn't put down John Chew or Ming Hui cause they're the type of low lying 40 year old mentality assholes who will complain to M.O.E if I put down the shots. I don''t need that ( Muhahhaha =) ) If you understood that.
( This has been brought to you by lots of crap productions)
(Wen Bin Photo Courtesy Of UjinMan In childhood times)
(Hz and Piddy in nerd mode)
Only good for half night stand though
